TREAT YOUR RELATIVES WELL: 8

DO NOT WAIT FOR OTHERS TO REPAY YOUR GOOD DEEDS

Everyone agrees that it is a good thing to treat one’s relatives well and to fulfil their rights. No one disagrees with that. However, the problem starts when, after doing a good deed with a relative, the person starts waiting that this relative will now thank me, he will repay my good deed in some way, he will sing my praises in front of the whole family and will tell everyone how good a person I am. If these expectations are not met, for example, if the relative did not say thank you, or did not return the favour in some way, then the person becomes resentful that I did him such a great favour but he did not do anything for me in return. Harbouring this kind of resentment destroys the Thawab (eternal reward) earned by doing the good deed.

When the next opportunity comes to do some good deed for the same relative, then the person thinks, “why should I do anything to help him? He didn’t do anything for me in return last time.” This then deprives the person of the opportunity to do another good deed, because the first good deed was not done with the intention of earning Allah Ta’alah pleasure and favour, it had been done as an investment for getting something in return. That is why the Holy Prophet ﷺ has said that when you do some act of kindness with someone, do not do it with the expectation of getting something back in return, do it solely with the intention of pleasing Allah Ta’alah.