WHAT IS SILAH REHMI (صلہ رحمی)?

Rasool Allah ﷺ said that the person who only does a good deed in return when someone has done some good to him is not doing Silah Rehmi. The person who truly does Silah Rehmi is the one who does good to people even if they cut off relations with him and do not do him any good. (Sahih Bukhari)

This means that if we keep a count of what good anyone has done to us, and have an intention that we will only do good to that person who has done good to us, and will only do as much good as the other person did for us, this is not doing Silah Rehmi. Even if the other person has never done any good to us, for example has never brought a gift for us, but we still give a gift to them with the intention that giving gifts is the Sunnah of the Hoy Prophet ﷺ and it will please Allah Ta'alah, so regardless of whether this person has ever given me a gift or not, I will still give him a gift, that is true Silah Rehmi.

Silah Rehmi is like an Ibadah (act of worship). When we pray Salah we never think that I will only pray Salah if my friend prays it too, if my friend doesn't pray Salah I won't pray it either. We know that on the Day of Judgment he will have to answer for his own Salah, and I will answer for mine. Silah Rehmi is an Ibadah in exactly the same way. Regardless of whether the other person performs this Ibadah or not, we still have to perform this Ibadah and obey Allah Ta'alah.

From the talk "The etiquette of Iyadat (visiting a sick person) by Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani Daamat Barakatahum