One of my very good friends asked me recently what would be the benefit of me writing all this ...? Surely it is not going to change the world. True indeed! I thought a lot about why I write and was there any point to it all.
I was exceptionally fortunate that in my formative years I got the opportunity to spend quite a bit of time under the shadow of some of the most balanced, most moderate people I have ever met and some may find it difficult to believe that I met them in a Madrassah! Even though I never became a good practising Muslim myself, and still am very poor at keeping up with all the required acts I developed an understanding and love of Islam that i could never have obtained through merely reading books.
I am probably the worst Muslim I have ever met but I have been very lucky to get some unique life experiences many other people may never get. I just wish to share those experiences and my learnings with my children, and that includes my friends' and family's children, and then leave them to make their own choices. I will share some glimpses from that journey but with a disclaimer that this is NOT a book on religion, these are just my personal opinions, experiences and feelings and we all know that opinions can always be wrong, despite some persons' beliefs to the contrary. As it is a life-long journey that is still ongoing I couldn't cover everything in one write-up so this will become a series.
I was in fourth year of medical school when I first went to this Madrassah. Having always being bull headed I decided that I will go exactly as I always dressed, in a jeans and sleeveless T shirt. My first surprise came when in a mosque full of over a hundred people with beards, caps or umama, dressed in shalwar kameez, bared ankles, and not one person gave me so much as a second glance. That was liberating indeed that people with such traditional appearance could be so accepting or tolerant of people with an almost alien appearance.
I still remember one of the first naseehat (lessons) I received, "Continue to interact with your friends exactly as you have always done and keep laughing and joking with them as you always did. They should not feel that you have become too dry, too rigid, or that now you do not talk about anything but one topic since you have turned towards religion. However, if they do something that is not permissible then get away from them only for that time, but as soon as that is finished get together with them as normal."
I was so surprised that you go to a Madrassah to learn religion and the first advice you get has nothing to do with prayers, or changing your appearance, or reading the Quran. It is about continuing to laugh and joke with your friends. I was so immature that it took me years to understand how profound an impact that first naseehat had on the rest of my life. My wife has asked me may times how come I am so close friends with so and so when they are so different from me. I always laugh and say that it is because they have stood by with me in every difficulty I have had in my life so I couldn't care less about what they have done at some point in their lives. But that is not the real reason. The real reason is that a part of the naseehat above was not to judge people, not to think that you are better than them, but to accept them exactly as they are. And that is why I did or they did never got in the way of our friendships.
Like many people of my age then I used to have serious doubts about religion and Allah. Did I believe in Islam just because i was born a Muslim? What if I had been born a Christian, or a Hindu? Would I have believe that to be the true religion then? Was there really a God? Was there really a life after death? I have always been an avid reader and that is why I have always told my children and my students. Keep reading, and not just your textbooks, it will expose you to worlds you will never see otherwise. I used to read the sermons of a long deceased saint and one day I suddenly came across something that I felt was a true representation of my own feelings. It said something like, "If you want to turn to the path of Allah but you do not know what the true path is. If you do not know whether the Hindus are right, the Christians are right or whether the Sunnis or Shia are right. Then what you should do is set some time apart every day and say these words. 'O God! I want to follow your true path. I do not have the knowledge or the wisdom to recognise your true path. I do not have the ability to recognise your true path by reading books. I am just praying to you to guide me to the path of the righteous.'"
The buzzing then said that the person should keep reciting this dual for some time to come and should not be disappointed too quickly if he doesn't sense an immediate change. He also said that there are two advantages of saying this prayer. The first is that Allah swt says in the Holy Quran, "Pray to Me. I will accept your prayers." So how is it possible that one prays for guidance and that prayer won't be accepted. The other is that suppose this person had only a short life remaining and died soon afterwards. When he goes in front of Allah swt at least he will be able to say, "Ya Allah! I did not have the knowledge nor the wisdom to recognise your one true path by myself. That is why I kept praying to You to grant me guidance. What else could I have done?" InshaAllah he will be forgiven.
The other incident that opened doors for me happened in front of me. One of my friends went with us to meet the buzurg I used to meet. He asked, "Hazrat! I think that there is an Allah but I am not sure. I feel there must be but I do not have peace of mind." To our relief the buzurg laughed and said, "It is good that you came to discuss this. Some people keep harbouring these beliefs for their entire lives but never seek to resolve their doubts." He then asked him some questions about his knowledge of logic but finding out that we hadn't really studies logic he said, "Lets leave the knowledge aside. I will just tell you a few words that you should repeat daily at a convenient time of day at least for the next few months. These words are 'O You who other people call God. if You exist then make me believe in you!"
The buzurg then laughed and said, "You can see no burden is being placed on you. You are not even being forced to pray to God. You just have to say a few words to someone other people call God. If He exists He will make you believe in Him. If He doesn't you are off the hook because you have done the best you could."
These two simple dua have had such a profound effect on my life that it is difficult to describe it in words and I won't even try to. There are some experiences you have to go through in life to be able to truly understand them.
Both these prayers also served as a very important tool for me. Any time anyone would want to argue with me ver religion I would just say, "My friend. Neither one of us is a religious scholar so lets not try to multiply our ignorance by debating our matters we know little about. Why don't I suggest another much more pragmatic way. Lets both of us raise our hands for prayers and pray that Allah SWT give guidance to both of us. If I get the guidance that I am wrong I will change my ways. If you are wrong you promise to change your ways." The most comical situation would be when some people would start squirming and not join me in that prayer. I had not realised until then that some people are so staunchly married to their beliefs that they don't even want to risk praying for divine guidance in case they are proven wrong.
I was exceptionally fortunate that in my formative years I got the opportunity to spend quite a bit of time under the shadow of some of the most balanced, most moderate people I have ever met and some may find it difficult to believe that I met them in a Madrassah! Even though I never became a good practising Muslim myself, and still am very poor at keeping up with all the required acts I developed an understanding and love of Islam that i could never have obtained through merely reading books.
I am probably the worst Muslim I have ever met but I have been very lucky to get some unique life experiences many other people may never get. I just wish to share those experiences and my learnings with my children, and that includes my friends' and family's children, and then leave them to make their own choices. I will share some glimpses from that journey but with a disclaimer that this is NOT a book on religion, these are just my personal opinions, experiences and feelings and we all know that opinions can always be wrong, despite some persons' beliefs to the contrary. As it is a life-long journey that is still ongoing I couldn't cover everything in one write-up so this will become a series.
I was in fourth year of medical school when I first went to this Madrassah. Having always being bull headed I decided that I will go exactly as I always dressed, in a jeans and sleeveless T shirt. My first surprise came when in a mosque full of over a hundred people with beards, caps or umama, dressed in shalwar kameez, bared ankles, and not one person gave me so much as a second glance. That was liberating indeed that people with such traditional appearance could be so accepting or tolerant of people with an almost alien appearance.
I still remember one of the first naseehat (lessons) I received, "Continue to interact with your friends exactly as you have always done and keep laughing and joking with them as you always did. They should not feel that you have become too dry, too rigid, or that now you do not talk about anything but one topic since you have turned towards religion. However, if they do something that is not permissible then get away from them only for that time, but as soon as that is finished get together with them as normal."
I was so surprised that you go to a Madrassah to learn religion and the first advice you get has nothing to do with prayers, or changing your appearance, or reading the Quran. It is about continuing to laugh and joke with your friends. I was so immature that it took me years to understand how profound an impact that first naseehat had on the rest of my life. My wife has asked me may times how come I am so close friends with so and so when they are so different from me. I always laugh and say that it is because they have stood by with me in every difficulty I have had in my life so I couldn't care less about what they have done at some point in their lives. But that is not the real reason. The real reason is that a part of the naseehat above was not to judge people, not to think that you are better than them, but to accept them exactly as they are. And that is why I did or they did never got in the way of our friendships.
Like many people of my age then I used to have serious doubts about religion and Allah. Did I believe in Islam just because i was born a Muslim? What if I had been born a Christian, or a Hindu? Would I have believe that to be the true religion then? Was there really a God? Was there really a life after death? I have always been an avid reader and that is why I have always told my children and my students. Keep reading, and not just your textbooks, it will expose you to worlds you will never see otherwise. I used to read the sermons of a long deceased saint and one day I suddenly came across something that I felt was a true representation of my own feelings. It said something like, "If you want to turn to the path of Allah but you do not know what the true path is. If you do not know whether the Hindus are right, the Christians are right or whether the Sunnis or Shia are right. Then what you should do is set some time apart every day and say these words. 'O God! I want to follow your true path. I do not have the knowledge or the wisdom to recognise your true path. I do not have the ability to recognise your true path by reading books. I am just praying to you to guide me to the path of the righteous.'"
The buzzing then said that the person should keep reciting this dual for some time to come and should not be disappointed too quickly if he doesn't sense an immediate change. He also said that there are two advantages of saying this prayer. The first is that Allah swt says in the Holy Quran, "Pray to Me. I will accept your prayers." So how is it possible that one prays for guidance and that prayer won't be accepted. The other is that suppose this person had only a short life remaining and died soon afterwards. When he goes in front of Allah swt at least he will be able to say, "Ya Allah! I did not have the knowledge nor the wisdom to recognise your one true path by myself. That is why I kept praying to You to grant me guidance. What else could I have done?" InshaAllah he will be forgiven.
The other incident that opened doors for me happened in front of me. One of my friends went with us to meet the buzurg I used to meet. He asked, "Hazrat! I think that there is an Allah but I am not sure. I feel there must be but I do not have peace of mind." To our relief the buzurg laughed and said, "It is good that you came to discuss this. Some people keep harbouring these beliefs for their entire lives but never seek to resolve their doubts." He then asked him some questions about his knowledge of logic but finding out that we hadn't really studies logic he said, "Lets leave the knowledge aside. I will just tell you a few words that you should repeat daily at a convenient time of day at least for the next few months. These words are 'O You who other people call God. if You exist then make me believe in you!"
The buzurg then laughed and said, "You can see no burden is being placed on you. You are not even being forced to pray to God. You just have to say a few words to someone other people call God. If He exists He will make you believe in Him. If He doesn't you are off the hook because you have done the best you could."
These two simple dua have had such a profound effect on my life that it is difficult to describe it in words and I won't even try to. There are some experiences you have to go through in life to be able to truly understand them.
Both these prayers also served as a very important tool for me. Any time anyone would want to argue with me ver religion I would just say, "My friend. Neither one of us is a religious scholar so lets not try to multiply our ignorance by debating our matters we know little about. Why don't I suggest another much more pragmatic way. Lets both of us raise our hands for prayers and pray that Allah SWT give guidance to both of us. If I get the guidance that I am wrong I will change my ways. If you are wrong you promise to change your ways." The most comical situation would be when some people would start squirming and not join me in that prayer. I had not realised until then that some people are so staunchly married to their beliefs that they don't even want to risk praying for divine guidance in case they are proven wrong.
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